The Flashing Necromancer Head Sign

[Aryse Andenter]

[Thu May 13 23:45:01 2004] Meszer tells you, 'you tehre ?'
[Thu May 13 23:45:09 2004] You told Meszer, 'hi'
[Thu May 13 23:45:25 2004] Meszer tells you, 'can you make me gear for pet. weapons. mask belt x2 ?'
[Thu May 13 23:45:30 2004] Meszer tells you, 'will donate'
[Thu May 13 23:46:13 2004] Meszer says, 'Hail, Aryse'
[Thu May 13 23:46:22 2004] Meszer tells you, 'and a lev ring ?'
[Thu May 13 23:46:39 2004] You told Meszer, 'Um, please check the class of people before making requests =) '
[Thu May 13 23:46:59 2004] Meszer tells you, 'hmm. i thought you were mag. excuse the faak out of me azz hole'


So I would normally just ignore this and put it down to a dude with a ridiculously short temper... except that I have had almost the same transaction with other people.... I'm still trying to figure exactly what I said that merited being called an asshole. See, I even add the little smily face when I point out that the person forgot to take a rather important step in their request...

Now, the answer 'Sorry, I'm not a mage/cleric/wizard/enchanter/shammy' is not in my vocabulary because:
1) I'm not sorry I'm not a mage/cleric/wizard/enchanter/shammy
2) It's just plain rude to make a request of someone without even checking what class they are, so you don't deserve an apology or for me to feel bad in any way I can't provide this service to you.

So... if someone out there could formulate a response that politely points out in a non-inflamatory way that the person didn't verify my class before making a request, I'd very much appreciate it. I am getting tired of the swearing and name calling I get from my current response.

Perhaps the strangest thing out of all of these is that I don't remember ever once being asked point blank 'Can you summon my corpse' without the person first asking if I was indeed a necromancer. I also can't bring to mind a single time I was asked for DMF by someone outside of my guild/friends who didn't first see me cast it on one of my guildies/friends right there. And I've been paying attention to that sort of thing... I mean, it wouldn't be fair if my pet peeve only applied to people getting my class wrong on a guess, and didn't apply to those who accidently got it right as well. Perhaps I should stress at this point that if someone asks in /say it doesn't bother me, because i can ignore them, and /say is filtered to a different window usually anyway... the tells are what gets me going.

Now, while we're on the topic, I'm going to take this moment to point out some of the most retarded request I have gotten:
-Requests for SOW in both erudite and skelly forms
-Requests for virtue with spectre hovering at my shoulder
-Request for KEI with spectre hovering at my shoulder
-Trade window opened with port stone in it (and green on his side to boot!) by a former guildie of mine - didn't even ask for the port or send me any tell at all until I had left the window open just sitting there pretending I was AFK for a bit... I actually considered just taking the trade and keeping the stone as cost for his dumbness
-At the end of a successful LDoN, group member turned to me and asked me for a port out, while I was standing there in skelly form, spectre at my shoulder, having cast mind wrack and zevfeer's the whole way through and used horror, with it's distinctive graphic on nearly every mob.

[Fizzleplink]

"No, but would you like me to TL you somewhere?"

[Fizzleplink]

Ah, hell... I'm too easily amused. Here are a couple more ways.

"Ya know... I never got around to buying those spells. Go figure :("

* DMF them.

"OOM"

"I don't think the person who made this toon got those spells. Hey, do you know where Burned Woods is this week?"

"Soon as I make a mage."

[Aryse Andenter]

Thanks Fizzleplink! Your suggestions just made my day.

[Jebasiz]

I got asked for kei while standing in EC waiting on a rez...a naked iksar casting kei, I'm sure that happens alot.....

[Sauhron]

This reminds me of the post I read the other day in my guilds forums.... funny read... :lol:


So there I was.....minding my own business in The Overthere, when all of a sudden I see
the message: "d00d sow plz".

Of course, my natural instinct was not to answer, since I thought the clueless newb
(hereafter referred to politely as "the petitioner") must have been poorly informed at
best.

Boy was I ever wrong.

I switch out of 1st person into an external camera, and what did my wandering eyes
behold? Only myself and the petitioner.

So I says to myself...."Self? You need to edumacate this fella!"

(Keep in mind what the overall setting looked like: There I was, in skeleton form,
carrying a scythe, FLOATING IN MIDAIR IN A MEDITATING POSITION, with a LARGE
dark-brown skeleton named "Gibober" standing behind me. Ummm....No, skippy,
I'm not a druid or a shaman.)

I say "Wish I could, bro, but I don't have SoW. I'm a Necromancer."

The Petitioner says, "$#*&@#$ dick, sow me already! it's for a cr"

Feeling as if my feathers had been ruffled a bit, I do a "/who all dumbass" (um..pardon..I
meant "/who all petitioner")

This is where I discovered the "/who all" bug. Certainly it must have been a bug, right?
There's NO WAY IN CREATION the dumbas...err...petitioner could have been a level
31 Dark Elf Wizard, right???? RIGHT????? /em begins to cry like a little girl.

Well, needless to say, I couldn't have been any more shocked than if my pet began
dancing an Irish Jig. I quickly begin the arduous task of maintaining my composure, while
deciding how best to deal with this tricky situation.

I say, "Necromancer's can't cast SoW".

Petitioner says, "Bull@#$%! you cast a spell while you were running and you sped up! i
couldn't catch you until you sat down! if you're not going to sow me just say so you
dont have to be a dick about it a$$hole"

Yes I know....he didn't use any punctuation in that last sentence.

I say, "I have JBoots."

He says, "what are they"

Before I have a chance to pick my chin up off the floor....

Petitioner asks, "can you buff my hps my hp sux"

I say, "I can't buff you, dude. I'm a necromancer. I only have one buff that you would
probably want."

He says, "yeah the one you won't give me dick"

Ok. Time to have fun with the hopelessly clueless.

I say, "Why do you need a sow?"

He says, "i need to get to burned woods to hunt. sumbody said its perfect for my level"

Yep. That's what he said......"burned woods".

I say, "man are you ever in the wrong place."

He says, "?"

Apparently he found the "question mark" key conveniently located nearby other various
and sundry communication facilitators.

I didn't answer him.

He repeats, "??"

Found it twice...good for him.

He repeats, "???"

Having an IQ greater than plantlife, I sensed a pattern forming.

I say, "You are NO WHERE near Burned Woods."

He says, "my friend told me it was in kunark"

I say, "Yeah, the operative word there is 'WAS'. There was a major patch a couple of
months ago after a bunch of complaints were filed about 'static content'."

He says, "?"

I say, "!"

He says, "?"

I say, ","

He says, "***"

I say, "no, already have some."

He says, "????"

I don't respond.

He says, "so where the @#$% is burned woods"

He lost the question mark button again. Probably popped off when he was sniffing his
feet.

I say, "Well, THIS week it's south of Freeport. It changes with every patch, since they
began randomizing zone locations."

My guild is hysterical at this point. And I haven't even told them the ENTIRE story yet.
Just snippets.

He says, "@#$% i just got off the boat"

I say, "You don't need the boat."

He says "why"

I say, "You're a wizard!"

He says, "how you know that"

I say, "I did a /wh...nevermind....the important thing is you have teleportation spells."

He says, "oh yeah the green ones"

I nod.

I say, "Yep. The 'green ones'. Pretty nice how you have them grouped by color."

He says, "thx"

I say, "How'd you think about doing it that way?"

He says, "they were all @#$%## up when i got this char"

I say, "Sit down and mem the spell 'Fay Gate'."

He says, "why"

Question mark key is on the ground in front of your chair, guy. Mixed in with your
collection of boogers.

I say, "It's going to put you within spitting distance of Burned Woods."

He says, "how do you know"

I say, "All patch messages come with a zone connection map."

He says, "oh"

I say, "Ok. You have it memmed now?"

He had just stood up after what I assumed was meditating/looking at his spell book.

He says, "yeah"

I say, "Ok. Cast the spell and let me know when you get there."

Dumba...errr....Petitioner begins to cast a spell.

A LONG time goes by.....ok, maybe 5 minutes
I still haven't heard from him.

Getting curious:

I tell petitioner, "Are you there yet?"

No reply. No reply at all. [Yes, I'm a Genesis fan... ]

Obviously he's there, or my tell wouldn't have gone through.

I tell petitioner, "Hit the 'r' key to reply to me."

He replies, "i'm here now where do i go."

Right idea....wrong punctuation mark. Oh well. "C" for effort.

I tell petitioner, "Ok, do you see a hotkey on the screen that says 'Sense Heading'?"

He replies, "no"

I reply, "Hit the arrow buttons one by one until you see one."

It was a guess, but an educated one.

He replies, "found it"

I reply, "Click on it."

He replies, "north"

I reply, "Ok, you need to head east along the path. Keep going until the path turns north.
When it forks to the right, take the right fork."

He replies, "ok"

Who knows, maybe the guy who sold his account on Ebay worked his Felwithe faction up.

He replies, "sumbody told me i shouldnt be here cause i'm a dark elf"

I reply, "They were roleplaying."

He replies, "oh hehe @#$%@#$ morons ;P"

Priceless. Utterly priceless, I tell you.

I reply, "Where are you?"

He replies, "i see something now. looks like a castle"

I reply, "Run into the castle as fast as you can. The guards might give you some trouble,
just keep running."

Yeah...damned conscience started kicking in.

A fairly long period of time passes. Not sure how long, but longer than I was expecting.

I tell petitioner, "What happened?"

As if I didn't know....

He replies, "my spells are gone!"

I reply, "What happened?"

He replies, "i died why"

I reply, "Oh man! Did I tell you to run east or west?"

He replies, "east ***???"

I reply, "Yikes. My bad. You should have run west."

He replies, "?"

I reply, "So where are you now?"

He replies, "how can i tell"

I reply, "Look right after you see 'Loading please wait'. It should tell you 'You have
entered [zone]'."

He replies "it doesnt say [zone] there."

After smacking my head against my monitor....

I reply, "What does it say in place of [zone]?".

Get this....

He replies, "Burning Woods"

I nearly fell out of my chair! I couldn't have PLANNED it that way!

He replies, "is that the same as burned woods"

I reply, "No, but you're close. Start running south so you can get your corpse back."

He replies, "i have to get my corpse back?????"

/ignore petitioner

Moral of the story: EBay...Just Say No!

Out of sheer curiosity, I took him off ignore later to find out what happened.

I tell petitioner, "How's it going?"

He replies, "***? where you been"

I reply, "been afk, sorry."

He replies, "got my corpse back. some dude rezzed me."

My conscience somewhat eased...

I reply, "Really? Cool! Where are you now?"

He replies, "iceclad ocean"

I scratch my head a few times.

I reply, "Why Velious?"

He replies, "the guy that rezzed me told me burned woods was in western wastes this
week"

I don't recall exactly how long it took me to stop laughing. I stopped breathing shortly
before my dog dialed 911.

He replied, "@#$%&* wouldnt sow me either. what is that sh#$ gold?"

That's what finally killed me. I'm writing this from the afterlife.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"This is the follow up story from the cleric who rezzed him near Felwithe.
Friend of mine digged it up, probably on the same necro side. "


Here comes some idiot Dark Elf running past me, running straight down the road
that is going to lead him to Felwithe. I scratch my head, and being the nosey
sort of Dwarf that I am...I send him a tell.

I tell the DE, "Wait"

DE tells me, "?"

I sigh into my ale as I take another longt draught off of it before running up
to him and saying, "Ye really don't wanna go messin around over there with them
High Elves' They look like pansies, but they aint."

The DE stands there with a vacant look on his face for a few minutes before just
running away. Do a /who on the DE and find out he's 31st level. Ok, so maybe he
knows what he's doing. I've seen Ogres in North Freeport, after all. I go back
to drinking my ale.

Out of curiosity, I send him another tell a few minutes later.

I tell the DE, "Not gettin' into any trouble over there are ye?"

DE tells me, "**** !@#$% roleplayer"

I sigh into my ale again, finishing it off. Ah, tis the season of the twit. I
stand up and head towards Felwithe to resupply my ale.

Just as I get to the gates of the ugliest city on Norrath, what do I find but a
dead dark elf and a pair of guards snickering and cleaning their weapons. Now
this is priceless.

I do a /who on the poor soul and see he is in Burning Woods. Being the sucker
that I am, I feel compelled to rez the twit...after all, I am a !@#$% roleplayer
and I roleplay a !@#$% cleric...albeit a !@#$% grumpy one.

I sit down to mem Reviviscene and while I am waiting for it to refresh I send
the DE a tell.

I tell the DE, "Would ye like a rez?"

DE tells me, "no i want a !@#$% sow dumbas i have to run south to get my corpse
back so dont be a dick and just sow me plz"

I look around for an ale but unfortunatly Brell hates me at this moment in time,
so I simply reply. "If I rez ya, ye wont need to run south to yer body. You will
appear at yer body. I am not standing near you, I am standing near yer corpse."

DE tells me, "d00d rez plz"

As I sigh I look at my Holy Symbol of Brell and sigh "I'm gonna get a stout
named after me right?" and I tell the DE "Consent me so I can rez ya" but I get
no reply. No reply at all. So I say it again "Consent me so I can rez ya"

DE tells me, "ok you can rez me"

I sit down again at this point. I have no ale and this is gonna take awhile. I
tell the DE, "Type /consent and my name" Being a smart dwarf I tell the DE,
"/consent Cleric_01" and say again "Just like that" before he can make my head
hurt more.

Sure enough, I recieve consent to drag his corpse. So I stand up and get ready
to drag the corpse when suddenly I am denied permission to drag his corpse. I
begin to think like him and I think "***?" So I tell the DE, "No...just type it
once. One more time. That's it. Dont type it again" thinking that as soon as I
get this over with, I can go buy more ale and my head will stop hurting.

I recieve consent and I quickly drag it towards the zone since this is the
direction the guy was going anyway. I get the body by the zone and cast Rez on
it, comforted by the fact that I am one heal away from being done with this guy.

The naked DE appears in front of me and I stand up to cast my final spell of
this exchange when he says to me "your that !@#%% roleplayer" and then a moment
later, almost as an afterthought "thx"

Compelled at this point, I ask "Why were you running into Felwithe when you are
KoS?"

DE says, "I was going to burned woods"

I say, "Burning Woods?"

DE says, "no dumbass i go there when i die i want to hunt burned woods"

I say, "Who told you to go hunting in Burned Woods, inside Felwithe?"

DE says, "some dick who wouldnt sow me" and then "will you sow me plz, its for a
CR"

I stand there drooling on myself for a moment, trying to catch up. I havent had
an ale in a good 20 minutes at this point, so I am starting to see spots.

DE says, "dont be a dick just sow me before they move the zone again"

I stare at the lad and ask "Move Burned Woods? Again?"

DE says, "yea"

I finally snap and say, "They aren't going to move it again. Once they moved it
to Western Wastes, with all the snow, it stopped burning."

DE says, "i saw a burning tree"

I say, "Exactly my point. Now if they would only move Burning Woods there it
would stop too and people wouldn't go there when they die."

DE says, "can you sow me, its for CR"

I say, "sow doesnt work in IC until you get past EW and then it will work for
CR's only until you get to WW, then ask the first person you see for sow there."
I add as an afterthought "Sometimes they look like flying blue things but they
can sow"

DE says, "***???"

I say, "Allow me to use smaller words. You do not need a sow yet. Do what I say
and you'll get there right away." and then "Sit down and mem the spell Bind
Affinity"

DE is silent for a bit and finally says "its red" as he is standing up

I say, "I am glad they covered Colors this week. Now target yourself and cast
this spell. " He just stands there for a minute, so I add "it will r0ck" and he
begins to cast the spell, binding himself behind the guards at Felwithe. I feel
somewhat better already, maybe I dont need ale.

DE says, "it said bound" and begins to giggle

I say, "Now sit down and mem the spell Iceclad Gate. This will r0ck even more."

DE says, "this one is green"

I say, "You're damn good at those colors man"

DE says, "thx"

When the DE stands up I say "This is going to take you to Iceclad Ocean. It's an
ocean so that's why they moved Burned Woods there....to put it out."

DE says, "what about sow"

I say, "Remember that sow wont work until you are on a CR in WW. In fact you
actually run faster in snow if you set the RUN button to WALK. Do that now."

DE says, "ok"

I say, "Now cast Iceclad Gate....the Green one. Remember to run straight out of
where you appear and dont stop swimming until you hit Burned Woods."

DE begins to cast a spell and I zone in to get my ale....remembering that the
Ignore list cures most headaches that ale cant and feeling somewhat better about
going back to Sebilis.

[Beltathor]

HA!...

[Aryse Andenter]

lol, that's so funny, I never saw that second part before. Any idea who wrote it? It would be hilarious if it was Brodder.

[Fizzleplink]

I wish I could remember. This story makes me laugh every time I read it.

Classic.

[Umbrello]

Random group member says, "Can I get a TL to bind please?"

Evil necro, "Sure np, coming right up sir."

/cast Sacrifice

Random group member clicks yes without reading message....

Tadaaa instant necro TL to bind, reward: free EE!

[Xavier]

Simple reply......Im a necro.

Got suspended for the tl to bind bit. Why? because I was low on ee's and I hit up pok....people wanting ports, people wanting kei or virtue. I got suspended for doing this on a blue server to like 10 people. But it was hellified fun.

[Quezquotyl]

I got this idea from eqclasses a while ago. I carry around Emeralds for this because I get requests for ports quite often. Some times people are too busy or distracted to pay attention before clicking the okay button on the dialoge box asking them if they wish to be sacrificed, thinking it is a translocate spell. Afterwards I put the person on ignore and walk away with a shiny new Essence Emerald.

I know this is a real crapy way of reminding people that I am a Necromancer, but then again they never asked what class I was before making a request.

Cheers,
Quez

[KeeL187]

ROFL that made me create a dwaven roleplaying cleric!

[aurelias]

Shit thats even more hilarous than what happened to me in PoN. On a lighter note I once had a fellow NECROMANCER (a dark elf at that) on my server throw himself DOWN the HOLE for almost an hour before he gave up and went away. His excuse... He was looking City of Paineel. Now why would a DE wanna go there? I get an /ooc when I am out in the newbie zone. Yeah this is when I first started playing. My first day on. But having made a character years ago which happened to be a Erudite Necro it was only natural to pick what I already knew something about no matter how little. Pity no one plays there. Its a really nice zone, but since no one really plays Erudite necros and Sks it means you due for playing without a lot of competion for mobs. My first day playing was very cool indeed I had already made a couple of levels . I had whole newbie zone to myself. Cept for this poor unfortunate goon. Its hard to piece it all together since it was at the end of 2003 but here was the gist of it.

<DE> Hey can you tell me how to get to Paineel.

<Aurelias> Your in Paineel now.

<DE> Really?

<Aurelias> Yeah.

<DE> I need to buy a key for The Hole. Know where I can get that.?

<Aurelias> Nope.

<DE> Nevermind I see the Hole right here.

Having remembered what I learned playing the first time. Going down the Hole with levitate or DMF was bad news. I remembered falling down there before for like 20000 damage.

<Aurelias> I wouldnt go down that way if I were you. You might die.

<DE> Shut the fuck up NOOB.

a few minutes later

<DE> I died how do i get my corpse back?

<Aurelias> How would I know? I am just a NOOB.

I go over to zone entrance and sure enough there is the DE standing in all his naked glory. I see him cast another DMF. He then proceeds to run around edge of cliff and then darts out into the Hole. He keeps trying to find a way to get to his corpse by using this same process. I am sitting there watching this happen for about 10 to 15 minutes and get bored of watching him kill himself, He had the sense, or maybe stupidity of binding himself at zone in, so he is killing himself at an awfully fast rate . I go back out into newbie zone and get another tell.

<DE> This isnt working. I already lost more levels than I wanted to. How can I get more corpse back?

<Aurelias> I don't know

<DE> Look I am sorry about the thing ealier

<Aurelias> Thanks for the apology

<DE>We can you help me

<Aurelias> No I can't. I only know that you can't go down the Hole that way cause you die really bad. I don't know of a way to get into hole and I don't know of anyone right now that can help you. Your the only other person I seen on today.

<DE> Well I am going to keep trying to jump in. Maybe if I cast as soon as I zone in that might help.

<Aurelias> I don't think that sounds like a good idea.

<DE> Its better than doing nothing.

<Aurelias> It aint worth dying over.

<DE> my character

<Aurelias> Good luck then.

<DE> Thanks.

At this point in the game. I had yet to hook up with IRL friends cause I hadnt been able to find them online so I was shit outta luck with getting infomation on all the changes or maybe even getting this guy a rez or something. He tried jumping into the Hole a few more times before he gave up and left. If this guy wasnt the stupidest person in existence then he deserves an honorable mention.

Aurelias Slayneheart 61st level Erudite Necromancer

[Jebasiz]

blah...none of the really stupid people bother me anymore...you all are lucky.

[Atdan]

I'm new to playing a Necro but I feel I have a pretty good grasp on the class because I have made it to 44.

One day while killing Cynthia a lv 24 or so Necro and his partner warrior show up at the gypsy's and the conversation was something like this.

Nec_01 "Hey can you heal my friend and myself and give me some Mana?"

Atdan "Excuse me?"

Nec_01 " It takes to long to heal up after a fight and I'm almost out of mana"

Atdan " Dude your a Necro just go tap some things and get your hp's back"

Nec_01 "Are you crazy! When I do that we get attacked and I'm less than 50% hp's"

Atdan "/boggle Sorry I'm out of Mana /ignore Nec_01"

I spit beer all over my desk when he said that last part.

[Gimpzilla]

Ask them for a clarity since they are obviously an enchanter with some sort of illusion up...

:huh:

[Origomali]

Wow, those are some of the funniest stories I have ever read...and some of the rudest people I have ever heard of.

As for my response: I am a Necro.....anything after that gets: /ignore

[seever]

This is all quiet simple. If someone ask your ,obviously necro, arse if you can SOW, Virtue, Marry, etc.. all you have to say is ' No, I'm a Necromancer. I deal in death and such. Buuuut, my attractive, supermodelesque girlfriend standing next to me might be able to help you. She kinda lost a fight with a tape-worm, so don't bring it up. Jobabtik, meet <Noob> here. Can you help him with a SOW ? What???!!! BAD Jobabtik !! I'm sorry <Noob> she won't help. Maybe you should petition a GM about her. '

[Nekys]

Couple come to mind:

Asked for sow (necro) in PoK, so I stand up and cast Fabled Boots and reply, "There, good hunting, friend."

/clueless: "I didn't get it."

/me: repeat casting boots

/clueless: "WTF, I didn't get it that time either."

/me: "Hmmm ... what class are you?"

/clueless: "Paladin."

/me: "Oh, sorry ... necro sow can't be cast on paladins. Only evil classes. Find an enchanter or wizard, but they have to be high elf for it to work on paladins."

/clueless: "Thanks."

------------

Playing enchanter, running thru PoK and get a tell, "Can I get a KEI."

/me: "Sure."

/clueless: "Where are you?"

(load gate, cast, bound in Gunthak at the time) /me: "Gunthak."

/clueless: "WTF, I thought you were going to KEI me?"

/me "Huh?"

/clueless: "You said you would KEI me."

/me: "No, I didn't. You asked, 'Can I get a KEI?' and I said, 'Yes' "

/clueless: "Yeah, well that means you were going to give me KEI."

/me: "No, that means I gave you permission to get a KEI ... for whatever reason you felt the need to get my permission for it."

/clueless: "FUCK YOU!!"

/me: "Still want that KEI? Uh, nm."

Pet peeve of mine is being hounded by KEI running thru PoK - HELLO, IF I WAS CASTING KEI IN POK I WOULD BE SPAMMING THE ZONE LIKE THE OTHER 5K CHANTERS DOING IT ALL DAY LONG!!

That and the English language. "Can I ..." is not a request that I do anything. It is a request for you to do something. "Can you rez me?" is not a question of a cleric to rez you ... "Will you rez me?" is the question to find out if you will be rezzed. "Will you KEI me?" not "Can I get a KEI?"

/rant off

[Kompressor]

i'm sorta in the boat of stupid people not bothering me either, only they re not always jus stupid.. some people actually arent that experienced in the game to know who does what, other than they might've seen a similar looking player give them something that they really liked and arent too sure about the /who blahblah class names, and or the thing when someone is /role, or /anon so they re not 100 % sure who they re askin.. or.. if you have the title in front of yer name heh.

IE: maybe if you're a DEf, and someone asks ya for kei.. unless they inspect yer gear, or you arent role, or anon, I can see where they can mistake us for chanters, (in looks) now more experienced players might see that im wielding a zlandi, and maybe the shackles, so they should assume Imma necro.. but heh, lots of peeps are noobs, and I dont fault em :P
simple. sorry, imma necro heres a dmf usually works.

[cyberdragon]

LOL that is all I can say and that there are some stupid people in eq.

[chakris]

So here I am sitting in PoK, minding my own business when low and behold, here comes a newbie DRUID. I think he was lvl 18 (and im almost certain they get sow at 15!)

Newbie: yo d00d, sow me

So here I am, sitting in all of my stunned glory.

Me: Umm...I dont think I can do that, im a Necromancer. Necros can't sow.

Newbie: whatever d00d, stfu and sow me

Mind you, im sitting here in a black robe, with the word "Lich" in front of my name.

Me: Listen little guy, Necros cant sow, only druids and shamans can sow. Why dont you just sow yourself?

Newbie: dr00ds cant sow you f*ckin n00b, go back to ebay azz hole.

I was sitting behind the bank with my roomate who also plays on my server, and he is on the ground he's laughing so hard. And, little did I realize, everyone sitting in the bank and part of the people sitting in front of the bank can see this conversation.

Someone was finally nice to him and asked him where he wanted to go.

Newbie: i need to go to freeport i can get uber lewts off the guards.

Nice Man: Okay, here's a temp, there's a guild having an event in the arena in Freeport, you can get super uber loots if you help them out.

Newbie; thanks d00d, this f*cker wouldnt sow me, bastird

Evidentally the rest is posted on a mage site somewhere. Something about them grouping with him, binding him at the freeport gates, and having a mage CoH him back to the arena after he zoned back in. I love newbies.

[najiwench]

i donn't mind getting asked for kei or tl or whatever, hell even a sow...if it's from a -15 level player...it's when a lvl 55 moron asks me for tl and gets irate when i don't answer...or when i simply say "i'm a necromancer" that bother me...i can understand low level players not understanding or knowing what classes cast what..it's the higher levels that SHOULD have the game experience to know better, that bother me..and people getting upset because you won't take your time to do something, even if it is something you CAN do...i just can't imagine cussing out a mage just because they don't want to make weapons for my pet...big deal, their loss....that was 100pp i was gonna pay..i'll find somebody else...i don't see a point in calling them names and swearing at them...i mean, that will definately clinch that i won't get anything summoned by that mage in the future, ya know?

same with enchanters, clerics, whatever else...the only time i EXPECT anything from somebody is if they cause me some kind of problem...say a cleric is running through somewhere and trains me..i die...damn straight i'm going to ask for a res and not pay for it...i didn't ask to get trained by the guy...

otherwise, they aren't playing to provide a service to me...so if they choose to, great, but if they don't, then that's fine too...i'll find somebody else who's willing

[eidolon]

same with enchanters, clerics, whatever else...the only time i EXPECT anything from somebody is if they cause me some kind of problem...say a cleric is running through somewhere and trains me..i die...damn straight i'm going to ask for a res and not pay for it...i didn't ask to get trained by the guy...


About mid last week, I was two boxing my 57 NEC and 44 MAG in Dulak while waiting for my brother to log on. I'd been in the one spot probably an hour and a half when a 65 CLR runs up (note: flashing EXARCH sign over head).


She proceeds to ask me: What ya hunting for?

I replied: Nada, just xp.

She responds: Ahh. Let me know if you need any help or anything.

I responds: Sounds great. Thank you.


I continue to chain pull mobs as I notice her run out and start pulling the guardians that patrol the path around the central buildings.

The first guardian she pulls pretty much whips her tail, getting her down below 50ish percent before she finally finished it off. NOTE: I have 2 clerics (L65 and L58) and am quite versed at how well clerics (especially those with EXARCH in their name) should do in fights against mobs of that level range.

Anyway, I shrugged it off as bad luck on her part and figured she'd do better. In short order, I see her come running from around the Armory area with several mobs in tow. She was headed straight for me.

Initially, I wasn't worried as it only looked like she had 3 or 4 mobs. So... I figured, what the heck, I'll help her. I ST'd one of the mobs straggling behind her... only to notice that she had a train of massive proportions and the mobs where stacked several deep running basically on top of one another.

She worked her way around me (I'd FD'd when I saw the mob count) and parked herself and her minions directly on top of my mage. Of course, both were trampled.

She pretty much trained everything from Windscorn (including the Templars) to me, having crossed half the zone or better. She could have made it to the Gunthak zone easier or simply bit it out from me a bit.

In short order, my MAG (whom the cleric had addressed earlier regarding help and all...) receives a tell from the cleric along the lines of...


cleric: OMG Did I just train you?

my mag: aye

cleric: OMG I am SO sorry. I didn't see you there!

my mag: no worries, i'm small... easy to overlook


Shortly thereafter, a 60+ RNG and 65 SHM shows up and drags the corpse off. I assumed for a res.

She never once offered my MAG a res.

[Beltathor]

Ok.. so there I am.. minding my own business.. enjoying a dwarven ale and hanging around a few guildies (love summon beer fishin' pole) *hic*

/clueless Hey Beltathor.. dude.. can you help me?

/me *hic* can try..
/em gets up and stumbles over the dwarf.. dam.. he is looking better

/clueleess SWEET! I need a sow and a clarity for a CR

/me *hic* um.. dude.. I have a pig in the bank.. but I am a necro.. cant cast C
/em puts down beer goggles

/clueless WTF? a pig?

/me ya.. *hic* pig.. sow right?

/clueless NO you NOOB.. Spirit of the Wolf.. dumbass... I need it to run faster

/me OOOhhh.. well.. I dont have anything like that... *hic* but if you ever need a corpse summoned.. I can try to get it
/em wonders why /clueless is looking at him funny.. realizes he is suddenly feeling ill

/clueless ok.. just gimme a port then

/me um.. kind, sober patron... I am a Necro.. I cannot port

/clueless STFU.. I know what necros can and cant do.. they port all the time!

/me Oh.. you are correct.. you as a lvl 10 pally definatley knows much more about my character... *hic* Hang on a sec.. I will TL you to bind

/clueless OMG.. you dont even know you can port?? F***ing EBAYER

/em Beltathor loads loads Sac...

/me yes sir... inc port now...

/cast sac

/me there ya go...

/clueless about F***ing time.. asshat.. BYE DUMBASS
/clueless makes a rude gesture at Beltathor

/me /drinks more.. hoping the nagging sensation of doing right will go away

needless to say.. I have one less fan...

[Schaeffer]

Umm doesn't the toon have to be level 46 for Sac to work?

[Beltathor]

Yep.. just another clueless person I guess

[Aryse Andenter]

Last night something happened that made me laugh. Like it was so beyond anything I had seen it didn't even frustrate me. I got smoked on a raid and was sitting in PoK waiting for my rez, when an erudite walks up to me and says "Buff me please". Well, we all know how I feel about people not checking my class, but she wasn't specific or anything and since DMF was already in my spell line-up, I thought, why not? She conned green to me, so I wasn't sure on her level and if it would stick, so I stood up to try and cast it on her, and I can't cast. So I go, what the?! and con her... and she's not even on my team! (On Sullon you can't cast beneficial spells on people not on your team.)

I was in giggles for the rest of the night. I mean, you are a n00b when you don't know what class can do what.... but you are a worm in the grass beneath the feet of the n00b if you come to SZ and somehow miss out on the teams thing.

[Persephonae]

One more for general amusement...

I was in Gunthak.. before it was a hotspot, so people were few & far between. I'm selling at the lighthouse and minding my own business. (and not on anon or RP) when I get a tell.

/random_stranger_01 tells you Can u C me, plz?

/tell random_stranger_01 Nope. Not a chanter.

/random_stranger_01 tells you Can u port me, plz?

/tell random_stranger_01 Nope. Not a wizard.

/random_stranger_01 tells you Can u buff me, plz?

/tell random_stranger_01 Nope. Not a buffing class. (DMF doesn't count & the guy was getting on my nerves so I wasn't about to even bother with DMF)

/random_stranger_01 tells you Bah. What CAN you do for me?

/tell random_stranger_01 Absolutely nothing since you have just made my ignore list, d00d.

[Everreddy]

I guess Ebayer's occur at any level , I thought it was only the high level acounts, but after last night I am not so sure anymore. I am with a decent group in the OT after having just made level 34 and memming the spells I had on me. I memmed Call of Bones and cast it on myself and almost immediately received a tell from the cleric in the group (I wondered why he moved closer to me after I cast it...) asking me how I changed into a skelly? I almost fell off my chair, this guy had been acting pretty responsibly for the while grouped with us, using HoT's and not stunning or wasting mana - I figured he knew his stuff, he was pretty well equipped too. So I tell myself that he just hasn't grouped with a necro before, although at his level of 36 I would have thought he had heard about our Lich line of spells. So I tell him about CoB being a necro spell that allows us to regain mana faster at the expense of our health, blah, blah, blah. So he says cool, can you cast it on me, so I explain that it is a self only spell, etc. Everything is going pretty well, till about 30 mins later he says he has to leave and he asks me for a sow <blink> then he asks our group for a sow - 1 War, 1 SK, 1 Rogue, the cleric and me, we all had a good laugh after he left the group.....

-----------------------

Everreddy

[Demetrii Spiritdrinker]

True story:


Here I am, in Tranquility, outside the Plane of Fire. I'm meditating, minding my own business, and responding to a few tells. All of a sudden, a fellow named Mercenary runs up to me, and sits down beside me. Beneath his name is the guild tag < Pandemonium >, which happens to be my guild's arch-rival, and the server's nemesis. Mercenary, a human shadowknight, Time-equipped, is also a known trainer, and a fuckhead in general. I decide to hang back from clicking into Doomfire, to see whether or not he has friends planning on following me in.


Suddenly, he speaks: " can u KEI me plz? "


At this point, I figured he was making some attempt at being funny, so I ignore him. However, once a minute goes by, he speaks once more: " can u plz KEI me? "


So I respond, " Sure. 50 platinum, please. "


He replies, " k. " Summons his horse, and dashes off. A minute later, there's platinum in my trade window. I click ' Accept ', and proceed to DMF him.


" There you go, " I say.


" ths dosnt say KEI...., " he responds.


" I know. Weird bug since the last patch -- some buff icons are mixed up with actual spell-effects. Haste looks like some spell called Spirit Armor, and Guard of Druzzil looks like Resist Disease. Hope they get it fixed, soon. People are starting to think I'm a necromancer. Heh. "


" lolz. ya. "


" Say, do you want Speed of Vallon, and GoD? "


" sure. "


I cast Spirit Armor and Resist Disease on him, and then sit back down to meditate. He thanks me again, and I thank him back for the cash paid for services rendered. Best of all, he never sent me any tells later, so apparently he was satisfied.


Watch out, enchanters -- there's a new crackdealer in town.

[Faumienn Hellangle]

LoL all of these are pretty funny stories ....