Caption This

[Warspite]

Damn! That pic needs a caption contest!

The Prize: 10kpp (Delivered on FV... sorry.. that's the only place I have it) and the honor of being addressed as the Caption King / Queen in at least one post by me.

Judging: The Caption that makes me laugh the hardest, is most memorable, would make a great T-Shirt slogan, etc.

Judge: Me, Al Franken... no... wait... I'm Warspite.. that's it.

No limit to the number of entries you can post. First entrant should make a thread in the Inferno (as I suspect some down right perversity... heck... I EXXXPECT perversity, dammit!).

Contest will end when everyone is fed up.. or by the end of August.

Any clarifications can be asked / answered in the thread with the captions.

Let the captioning begin!


-Warspite

[Unclean]

http://www.lo-gear.com/images/EQSigs/strapon.jpg

[Felicite]

Warspite: "We never learned that spell in the Freeport Lodge.. must be a Qeynos thing."

Edit: "That must be one of the those special mod rods Julianne was always talking about summoning.."

[Unclean]

"Love never dies"

or

"Are you really a roadie for the Greatful Dead?"

or

"Stop screaming bitch, you'll wake the dead!"

[Warspite]

THAT IS WHAT I'M TALKIN' 'BOUT!

Thanks for getting the ball rollin', Unclean!

[Unclean]

Thanks for getting the ball rollin', Unclean!

My pleasure m'lady /bow.

[Unclean]

"Researchers at the National Institute of Health in Maryland have discovered an unintended side effect of Viagra. More on this story as it, uhm, develops..."

or

"Not so hard, I'm getting splinters"

or

"Normally Jane wouldn't even consider having sex on the first date, but Jonny wasn't like all the other boys..."

[KB1]

What a boner!

[Rijak]

who's your pet, momma!

[Dranul]

"When I said can I have some pet toys, I didn't mean this!"

"/pet back off, /pet attack, /pet back off, /pet attack..."

"I can't wait to get Army of the Dead!"

[Unclean]

/pet fuck

"As you command, master"

or

/spank "call me jaberer" /spank "call me jaberer"

or

"when vacations to aruba go horribly wrong"

[Unclean]

"Felicite takes her new toy for a spin!"

[Aryse Andenter]

"Ooooh, Mr. Smith"

[Kvenya]

This just in: New 'Graveyard Room' at Adventure Inn...

[Jebasiz]

"I'm Rick James, Bitch"

Heh, necrophelia..but not. That's kinda disturbing.

[Dranul]

Surely the Sony devs expected this when they introduced the new inventory "crotch slot".

The new Bone-o-matic! Comes in a varity of shapes and colors, speed and force controlled via voice command, and never wears out! (Warning: The makers of Bone-o-matic are not responsible for brains eaten during use of product.)

Dev 1: How do we make half the EQ population stop complaining?
Dev 2: Now that you mention it, I have a great idea.

Makes ya wonder why the pets summoned by iksar beastlords are female.

[UsulDaNeriak]

didnt we say: hardcore porn just as link but never as an img, even on a forum flagged NSFW?

or was that another board?

jeeez, thats potus level B)

Usul

[Felicite]

Ayrse did a link.

Unclean did the embed.. in "General". I banned him. *winks* Oh, that's right I didn't.

But I did move the post here.

No one has "reported" the thread. If it was reported.. I would have to edit it back to a link.

It's CGI.. the Supreme Court is still waffling on CGI images versus Real Life ones.

If you are offended, edit it back to a link. I was not offended enough to act unilaterally.

[Azrioth]

rofl usul

I was wondering why we don't have any hardcore stuff over there... it's all soft lol.

I should really think about this, but a few that pop directly into my mind are

"Fuckin' necros"

"I owe that mage..."

and maybe some sort of fleshlight joke...

Hrm.

[Unclean]

Unclean did the embed.. in "General". I banned him. *winks* Oh, that's right I didn't.

NAZI !

Oh, nevermind. :unsure:

[UsulDaNeriak]

Originally posted by Unclean@Aug 18 2005, 05:34 PM
NAZI !

be careful bro!

you dont like to hear a 30 pages long explanation of german history, believe me)

Usul

[Unclean]

Then your path is clear.

I must be banned, less my twisted sense of humor spread spread to others. Next thing you know, others will start showing a sense of humor, leading to the inevitable downward spiral of necrotalk into the humorous abyss...

...or you could just relax a bit, and realize that my comment wasn't a personal attack on you...

I'll respect your decision either way.

Peace.

[Unclean]

Let me put it another way:

I have a child who is severely phiscally and developmentally disabled. At 19 years old, she can't talk or feed herself, and she will be in diapers the rest of her life.

Does that mean I blow a gasket every time somebody calls somebody else a retard on the internet? I'd be an angry person if I did. I don't take anything I read on the internet personally - you shouldn't either.

You see, I can make the same argument you do for other terms. But where does it end? You would have the internet distilled down to the lowest common denominator? How boring!

Using your powers of being a moderator to threaten people who you personally disagree with is what's known as a conflict of interest.

[UsulDaNeriak]

Originally posted by Unclean@Aug 18 2005, 06:32 PM
Then your path is clear.

I must be banned, ......


what path?

relax bro, mods cant ban, just admins can :o

and what the fuck you are talking about????

Usul

PS: and no mod power against you, sorry.

http://hometown.aol.de/Neriaknecguild/misc15.jpg

[Saetanis]

I'm stupid.

I get mad when people call me stupid too.

But like momma used to say, "Pretty is as pretty does..."

- Saetanis

* Back to the captions plz.

/pet attack, /pet backoff was a hoot...

[Unclean]

using the word "nazi mod" on a board i am a moderator on is usually the fastest way of suicide.

NAZI MOD tee hee hee

* Back to the captions plz.

So post some captions, slacker!

[Eyez]

Originally posted by Dranul@Aug 18 2005, 05:02 AM
"When I said can I have some pet toys, I didn't mean this!"

"/pet back off, /pet attack, /pet back off, /pet attack..."

"I can't wait to get Army of the Dead!"
My personal favorite...so far.

On a side note, is there anyway we can integrate this image with the other? :ph34r:

http://www.obsessionmatrix.com/x_felicite_1.jpg

[Felicite]

RERAIL time.

Hey.. that's almost a caption..

[Unclean]

*cough* RL Felicite pic.

[Saetanis]

I can't match the genius of the previous submissions ~


"When I'm done, how 'bout you finish me with a reach... through."


(Sorry, best I can do. The bulk of my inspiration is currently on the monitor.)

- Saetanis

[Unclean]

Originally posted by Doc Hollidazed+Aug 18 2005, 08:48 PM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (Doc Hollidazed @ Aug 18 2005, 08:48 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin-Saetanis@Aug 18 2005, 08:39 PM
(Sorry, best I can do. The bulk of my inspiration is currently on the monitor.)
Best go get a paper towel and some windex...;) [/b][/quote]
ROFL

[Azrioth]

http://www.obsessionmatrix.com/x_felicite_1.jpg

Bow-wow chicka bow-wowww



Side note - rofl at Doc's posts :lol:

[Jebasiz]

http://www.sorcsoft.com/Content/Intarweb.jpg

[UsulDaNeriak]

Originally posted by Unclean@Aug 18 2005, 07:27 PM
using the word "nazi mod" on a board i am a moderator on is usually the fastest way of suicide.

NAZI MOD tee hee hee

* Back to the captions plz.

So post some captions, slacker!


now, please, please.....stop

love your handicapped child (my sadness about that :( ) and enjoy, that it will never be able to meet a real nazi, even not in the internet. just thank your god on a daily basis, that you and your child are born these late days. and you will never meet one. you got the permit to live and make the best out of this bad fortune. nobody will tell you, that you and your family should go and have a shower. a real nasty shower.

there is no nazi in the internet, believe me. or your kid wouldnt be safe. your kid would have no right to live if the nazis would have won the war.

these guys have been something more horrible, than Al Kaida and just 2 towers.

you even cant call G.W a nazi. even not a simple fascist, like Franco or Mussolini. even if he uses a lot of very simple and classic faschistoid political mechanisms these days. the nazis are dead, and nobody deserves to be called one. even not G.W. and surely no mod on an internet board.

we are no murders, we are just doing our job as good as we can here.

http://hometown.aol.de/Neriaknecguild/sit_in_corner.jpg

PS: sorry for editing later. i was not finished with my post. the father of my grandpa personally burned all synagoges in my hometown as a leader of the SA forces. now deal with that, if you are 9 years old and you regognize, what an asshole this guy was. believe me, you got no clue, what NAZI means. you never met one. i met him. he was really a big asshole.
on the other side my other grandpa was an active communist until 1940 and he survived, but thats another story.

[Felicite]

Originally posted by UsulDaNeriak@Aug 18 2005, 02:39 PM
now, please, please.....
It's close Usul.. but I would suggest more like:

"Now.. please... NOW.. please.."

or

"please.. oh please.. now.. oh god.. now.."

[Unclean]

NAZI MODS opressing meh!

[Azrioth]

Originally posted by Felicite+Aug 18 2005, 09:41 PM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (Felicite @ Aug 18 2005, 09:41 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin-UsulDaNeriak@Aug 18 2005, 02:39 PM
now, please, please.....
It's close Usul.. but I would suggest more like:

"Now.. please... NOW.. please.."

or

"please.. oh please.. now.. oh god.. now.." [/b][/quote]
:blink: Whoa there! Da doing doing doing...




And Unclean, stop. If you had a retarded kid and said "hey, I'd rather you don't call people retarded because that reminds me of my poor kid / offends me for whatever reason" - I would try not to for politeness's sake.

Hell, it's just poor taste. Godwin's law. And from where I sit it looks like you're just being an asshat.

[Warspite]

I don't mind the Nationalism so much, but I hate the Socialism.

Dammit! Now you've made me derail my own caption thread, naughty necros! Take this OT chitty chat to another thread, ill-mannered children!


Caption Freebie:

"Don't let Flesh Eating Herpes Complex XIII keep you from living a full, satisfying sex life. See your doctor about once daily Anogynolotrimoistrin."

[Unclean]

Yeah I know I'm being an asshat. It's not something I'm ashamed of.

..but when I get PM's like

calling somebody a nazi who isnt really one and cant be one, is my red button.

you shouldnt do that.

Usul


and read crap like:

using the word "nazi mod" on a board i am a moderator on is usually the fastest way of suicide.

makes me think 'OMG internet suicide please don't hurt me mistah big powerful mod!'

Yeah I know, I'll never work in this town again. I've made my point - I'll stop.

Now back to the skeleton fucking the blonde!

[Azrioth]

So now you toss about private correspondance and make yourself out to be some sort of noble rebel? Please.

Not being ashamed of being a jerk is frighteningly pitiable.

You don't have a point and never made one.

... but yay, you're done.

[Saetanis]

And it was so fun for a while.... oh well.

Windex no workie...

Would an ice chipper scratch my screen?

- Saetanis

[UsulDaNeriak]

yes, NAZI MOD is my red button, and if you think, i am posting crap, why didnt you just answer my PM and avoided all THIS crap above???

however, if somebody offends you, or you see a nazi around here, please send me a PM, i will take care. you bet.

and have a nice day and enjoy necrotalk.com.

all the best to you and your family.

Usul

[Warspite]

Would an ice chipper scratch my screen?

Use what Doc uses!

New, Improved Jizz-be-gone! Safe for Monitors, pets, and small children!

Available at your local Osco, Longs, and Albertsons!

[Azrioth]

Originally posted by Warspite@Aug 18 2005, 10:29 PM
Would an ice chipper scratch my screen?

Use what Doc uses!

New, Improved Jizz-be-gone! Safe for Monitors, pets, and small children!

Available at your local Osco, Longs, and Albertsons!
That was just wierd and faintly disturbing.

Sorry, no funny points.

Wtf are Osco and Longs, anyway?

[Drazzminius]

Originally posted by Doc Hollidazed@Aug 18 2005, 12:20 PM
"Is that an Unfired Rod of Storms?"

"It was, until I hit combine just a second ago, baby."
ROFL!!!

[Warspite]

The Cap'n asks:
Wtf are Osco and Longs, anyway?

They are the names of large regional chains of drug stores. Please feel free to replace them with Rexall or any other name you are comfortable with.

[Eyez]

Warspite makes me laugh...

[Veratu]

"Changing position Master."

Veratu

[Aldmare]

Originally posted by Veratu@Aug 19 2005, 02:10 AM
"Changing position Master."

Veratu
Winner IMO :lol:

nice one

[Veratu]

Originally posted by Aldmare+Aug 19 2005, 02:18 AM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (Aldmare @ Aug 19 2005, 02:18 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin-Veratu@Aug 19 2005, 02:10 AM
"Changing position Master."

Veratu
Winner IMO :lol:

nice one [/b][/quote]


Thanks for the support. It was a toss up between that and "Darling, I'm spent!"

Veratu :D

[Dranul]

Now I know why they call Jebasiz the pimp lizard.

The mage water pet has a simliar attachment; but it's such a cold fish.

Mrs. Smith missed her husband so much, she convinced him to come back from the grave. (Small detail, the grave she's leaning on says "Smith")

"Sweetie, I know you're a necro, but do I have to be in skeleton illusion evertyime?"

Since it's just her and her pet, is that soloing?

[Rijak]

Originally posted by Dranul@Aug 18 2005, 09:37 PM
Since it's just her and her pet, is that soloing?
safe sex ;)

[Mallakith]

Well I thought

"who's the master now!"

or "So THATS what /pet focus is for"

[Azrioth]

Rexall? Wtf... Ah well.

Aldmare wins the thread!

[Xislaben]

"I said I have a bone to pick with you!"

[Veratu]

Sorry, I'm having too much fun with this. :D

"Imagine how pissed Steve would be if he found out his wife was still cheating on him with his neighbor.... even 7 years after he killed the bastard over it!"

Veratu

[Warspite]

All right Cap'n... what part of the country do you live again? I'll use the internet to find out which major drugstore chains are local to you so you'll stop worrying and enjoy the rest of the thread ;)


Caption freebie:

Never before published pictures of Anna Nicole Smith and her new husband, the 327 year old millionaire, Roger Johnson-Peters.

[Sarnath Creed]

/pet back off
...
/pet hold
Boner says, "In a minute..."

[Azrioth]

Warspite... no need =P as to where I live, click my name :o ;)

[happy]

" old habbits die hard "


" we dont die we multiply"


:blink: they are corny but all i could think of

[Ilian]

I got your fucking nerf stick right here!

-- Nerf Stick at work --

Damn man, Jaboner fucked that one up good.

New DoD necro AA?

rebalancing in action ... who's on top again?

- Ilian 68 necro on the 7th

[Brahman]

even i think the asshat above is just being a prick...

"boner shrinks"

[Rijak]

you've gotten better at moaning (201)

[banewolf7]

"Looks like my Wake the Dead spell went dreadfully wrong!"

[Nefarious]

"Back off, before I splurt on you!"

or

"Ever seen a necro on PMS?"

[Dranul]

Boner has become ENRAGED!

[happy]

jaber "baby i have to ask you something since you will do this with me you must do it with anybody"

slut " go ahead baby ask away"

jaber " is there any traction left on the tires or is it like throwing a hot dog down a hallway"

[Warspite]

Caption Contest Winners:

Grand Prize for 1st Place and 10,000pp delivered on the FV server:

Dranul for his submission:
The new Bone-o-matic! Comes in a varity of shapes and colors, speed and force controlled via voice command, and never wears out! (Warning: The makers of Bone-o-matic are not responsible for brains eaten during use of product.)

The warning alone is priceless! Dranul, you are the Caption King!
Send me a PM so we can figure out how you can collect your cash prize.

Second Place (No prize, just the Honor)

Doc Hollidazed for his submission:
"Jaboner hits a Naked Female for 69..."

Third Place (No prize, just the Honor)

Rijak for his submission:
you've gotten better at moaning (201)


All these cracked me up the first time I read them.

Okay... who's gonna run the next contest? Hmmm?

[Dranul]

Ooh, spiffy. I did make about a thousand submissions though...the odds were on my side.

As for the money, the honor of being picked is enough for me. I humbly decline :) .

[Warspite]

Bah... numbers of entries mean nothing if you're not funny... kinda like Margaret Cho can tell 1000 jokes and no one will laugh with her... just at her. :P

Anyway.. if you ever feel like making a toon on FV and need few plat for a twink run... just tell me. You earned it. I still laugh at that caption.

[Rijak]

i'm honored too ^_^

grats Dranul!