NEW CONTEST!

[Warspite]

Okay... since Halloween is almost upon us.. and we are teh scariest of all classes.. I think it's time we celebrate our greatness with....


Wait for it....



HAIKU POETRY!

For those not aware.. a haiku is an non-rhyming poem with a simple 3 line format. Line one has 5 syllables, Line two has 7 syllables, and Line three has 5 syllables.

cheesy example:

The Warrior waits
For the group to begin play
Necros never wait


The contest will again be judged by me. Deadline for entries will be Halloween, October 31st. The 1st place winner will be given the title of Necro-Haiku Shogun!

Each poem should touch on a facet of life as a necro. And since I put this contest in the Inferno, naughty words are expected and approved of.


Good luck!

[Schaeffer]

Nice, a constructive way to ease our boredom instead of trashing good thread...

Good idea!


Here goes:


Iksars rule Norrath
Humans, Erudites do not
Gnomes are our lunchmeat

[Drazzminius]

Hmm...

Dark Elven Necros
Shadows part, fearing our wrath
Death awaits our call

[Dranul]

A Pet's Haiku to its Master:

Oh, splendid master
Please use me and abuse me
I am your bone toy

------------------------

Here I am again
Lying on the ground, face down
Been two minutes yet?

------------------------

Raid is a-wiping
Where is a comfy corner?
Fuck, I got summoned

------------------------

Shards of the fallen
Damned souls and coffins in stacks
These things, our trade is

------------------------

Inc A-o-t-D!
A warning never heeded
Clerics shit their pants


Um...I got too much time on my hands.

[Mallakith]

er ok creative writing not this necros strong point but im game:

waiting for engage
buffing taking way too long
lich is killing me

==================================

come let me hit you
dirty necro always runs
now how do i warp?

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

slow lingering death
that is the way we want it
let them all suffer

[Rijak]

pre-nerf CoS?
"invaluable!", they cry
but 400k?!?

edit ~ okay, i can't count syllables
can' we just do limericks? :P

[simmy98]

oh what a shame
here comes the poison and the pain
haha, another dead name



Jason

Areuon

tunare

:rolleyes:

[Felicite]

Eternal Torment
My pleasure watching your pain
Oops, need a new toy

http://www.obsessionmatrix.com/felsig_dn.jpg

[Kvenya]

From the Darkness born,

Killing all who oppose me,

Make peace with your god.

-------------------------------

Darkness Eternal.

I step forth to deal death.

Stand not against me.

--------------------------------

T.

[Warspite]

I think your syllable count is just fine, Rijak. Five-Seven-Five.. it's all there!

[Rijak]

Originally posted by Warspite@Oct 19 2005, 12:09 PM
I think your syllable count is just fine, Rijak. Five-Seven-Five.. it's all there!
after the edit... but thanks for checkin', i still wasn't quite sure :blink:

[Deanette]

A Newbie Necro
I die a lot wonderful
A naked corpse run

Female Necro seeks
willing male to die for her
Level Forty Six and Up

Clerics annoy me
"Manna is low twitch me please"
I am not a bank

I hate over there
in the overthere I die
when I kite chickens

[Trokdar]

Druids bleed and scream,
sautee'd aborted halfling,
would you like a taste?

[BlackHeart]

dot dot then I feign
Then watch my pet get eaten
stand and dot some more

[Warspite]

A gnome's reply to Schaeffer:

Bitches!
A Gnome's Haiku

Iksars oft say that
I am lunchmeat. I've got your
Meat hangin' right here!

[Warspite]

Whoah! One word... seven syllables! The Doctor is in!


Not just a neat wand....

But it IS a meat wand, I suppose?

[Xislaben]

Throughout all Norath
death is held in abeyance
by necromancers

[Quezquotyl]

Kill the midgette gnomes,
Carve flesh from their bodies,
Make good sandwiches.

Smack a cleric a day,
No twitches for you fekkers,
Stop nuking and heal.

Here comes the Bard train,
Quickly I feign death in time,
Laughing all the while.

I am a loot whore,
Getting upgrades pisses people off,
DKP is great.

Soloing the nest,
Running up the path to feign,
Break the camp again.

They shout for camp check,
I do not answer their call,
Aggro makes this hard.

Off to raid something,
DMF requests yet again,
I need MGB.

[Dranul]

Inny lost a bet
Cazic says, "LMAO"
Beware evil frogs

Lizard or human?
Dark elf, gnome, or maybe frog?
Race is just lich deep

"Please twitch me, kthx"
"There's a service charge" "How much?"
"1 plat per mana"

AE Deathtouch? Hm
Necros in one group, no sham
Gee, thanks a lot, Boss

That last one is just annoyance over the fact that when we did the rogue 1.5 mob with the DT AE, guild leader lumped all the necros into one group without a shaman, because shamans were too sparse that day.

And Doc, that's some mighty fine haikuing.

[Mallakith]

you do realise the ae dt on that mob is hate list based so a fd at the right time and you dont get hit...


PS

raid wiping again
bollocky bollocky boo
spell just broke feign death

willful death aa
hasnt worked once for me
i want a refund!

[Quezquotyl]

Arlagai is down,
Gornogg the Awful is dead,
Deathwhisper is mine.

Zun'Muram Yihst Vor,
You've died so many damn times.
No Dagger of Death.

Farming goats again,
Muramite Armor go to hell,
All those raids to group Qvic.

One time on Necrotalk,
Dotman griefed sob stories for hours,
Dotmom flamed him too.

Who is Ckador?
Why do they like rap battles?
"Battlez time!" says Cka.

[Dranul]

Originally posted by Mallakith@Oct 19 2005, 09:54 PM

you do realise the ae dt on that mob is hate list based so a fd at the right time and you dont get hit...


Eh, it's more the principle of the matter; GL had no intention of us living. Beyond that, I was under the impression that FD won't wipe you from the aggro list, only put you at the bottom and make the mob con indif to you. If it does wipe you without two minutes, that's something I'll have to remember next time.

[Felicite]

again I must zone
empty window with no ;tells
curse you S. O. E.

[Schaeffer]

less chat, more haiku's, Doc that was awesome!

Dreaming of Fire
Only Solusek remains
Drench Tables in Blood


All will bottleneck
Crystallized Sulfur
You shall not pass! /sigh


Runic Parchment woes
Randomly generate this
..!.. (dot dot Line dot dot)


Mom said don't play Gnomes
It is improper manners
Don't play with your food.


Group dies, cleric too
group cleric /tells you "please rezz?"
/r When I'm done kiting

[Dranul]

One dot, two dot, three
dot, four. Five dot, six dot, more.
"You'll not evade me!"

Burning Affliction?
Extended Affliction, eh?
Sounds like STDs

Floating fart? No thanks
Kitty, scaled wolf, furry wolf?
Boner is my pet

[lesk]

soloing is hard
if you are a big pussy
usul says such simple

fuck your parse bullshit
you whine about nec dps
wont send you my log

iksars have regen
my scales cause lacerations
no naked dark elves

necro l-f-g
let me join your group motherfuckers
goddamn it I'll solo

sony has forums
they are occupied by teen-
age stupidity

eqnecro dies
brahman says i own you now
necrotalk says no

golanorn joins server
wide dot necrotalk and says
stupid shit everytime

ubers look at me
they laugh with great ridicule
i say fuck you too

family guilds are great people
that think its still two-thousand-one
now you need to raid

on f v server
war-spite and fel-ic-i-te
promise sloppy fun

creativity
when writing haikus for you
is greater than me

counting 5-7-5
is harder than I thought it
would be so doublecheck

can proper haikus
continue a thought from one
line to the next one?

[Warspite]

I never promise sloppy fun! I threaten it!

[Xislaben]

Originally posted by Warspite@Oct 20 2005, 04:28 PM
I never promise sloppy fun! I threaten it!
That's kinda kinky sounding :P

[Schaeffer]

Originally posted by Xislaben+Oct 20 2005, 01:30 PM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (Xislaben @ Oct 20 2005, 01:30 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin-Warspite@Oct 20 2005, 04:28 PM
I never promise sloppy fun! I threaten it!
That's kinda kinky sounding :P [/b][/quote]
Empty Threats believe me,


Warspite is Jealous
Cries, "Marsha, Marsha, Marsha!"
No love for poor Jan...

[Zeller TP]

Bad Cleric wants twitch
Cannot manage his mana
Mouth is flapping too

[Warspite]

Schaeffer's Lizzy Love Song Haiku

Schaffer Schaeffer Schaef
Fer Schaeffer Schaeffer Schaeffer
You go fuck yourself!

[Schaeffer]

War says masturbate
with this I have no problem
so what if I do?

[Warspite]

Schaeffer's Dilemma Solved:

Use NEW Jizz-B-Gon! (http://www.necrotalk.com/index.php?act=ST&f=15&t=4544&hl=&view=findpost&p=44558)
Removes tough stains and build up
Mom wont ask questions

[Schaeffer]

Originally posted by Doc Hollidazed@Oct 20 2005, 06:00 PM
ingeniously
hypermultisyllabic
versification
/bow...

"We're not worthy"


How do you do that,
Voodoo that you do so well,
Is that you John Wayne?

[Xislaben]

Originally posted by Schaeffer@Oct 20 2005, 09:52 PM
War says masturbate
with this I have no problem
so what if I do?
I'm all by myself
Thought nobody was watching
Was all by myself

[Warspite]

Xislaben states O' so poetically:
I'm all by myself
Thought Nobody was watching
Was all by myself

And this is how Necros learn to do everything solo.

[Schaeffer]

Originally posted by Xislaben+Oct 21 2005, 10:56 AM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (Xislaben @ Oct 21 2005, 10:56 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin-Schaeffer@Oct 20 2005, 09:52 PM
War says masturbate
with this I have no problem
so what if I do?
I'm all by myself
Thought nobody was watching
Was all by myself [/b][/quote]
Greenday 4 teh win!!11!

[Warspite]

Schaeffer shocks me by saying:
Greenday 4 teh win!!11!

Greenday sucks the big, hairy root!


I want a divorce! Irreconcilable musical differences, your honor. I have taste.. Schaeffer obviously does not!

[Schaeffer]

I have appreciation for all genres of music, My MP3 list has everything from classic rock (70's and 80's) to disco, from electronic funk to R&B, from metal to tori amos, from oldies (50's and 60's) to grunge, from dave matthews to white snake.

I was in highschool when dookie came out and the secret track holds a place in my heart...

sue me

[Warspite]

classic rock (70's and 80's)

Classic rock from the 70's and 80's?! I feel soooo fucking old. Someone get my walker.

[Felicite]

Odds of a Haiku
On this page of wandering?
they remain unknown

**

in·fin·i·tes·i·mal = six syllables *sigh*

Loves

[Dranul]

Originally posted by Warspite@Oct 21 2005, 07:40 PM
classic rock (70's and 80's)

Classic rock from the 70's and 80's?! I feel soooo fucking old. Someone get my walker.
Ah, music that was around a decade or two before I was born.

I'm working on an epic haiku. Several verses long, each verse consisting of a normal haiku. I'll post it some time later.

[Rijak]

Originally posted by Schaeffer@Oct 21 2005, 02:38 PM
I was in highschool when dookie came out and the secret track holds a place in my heart...

sue me
green day's got a few good tunes... but nothin' like the punks of the late-seventies

i thought classic rock was the 60s?!? guess i need a walker too :(

[Schaeffer]

Originally posted by Warspite@Oct 21 2005, 03:40 PM
Classic rock from the 70's and 80's?! I feel soooo fucking old. Someone get my walker.
I was born in the 70's don't feel too bad. The NYC Classic rock station plays anything remotely considered rock that is 10 years old. I almost cried when I heard Bruce Springstien on the Classic Rock station for the first time. Just consider me your young trophy husband, to use the parlance of our times.

Age is attitude
Warspite is a spunky chick
Gnek, keep your hands off!

[Warspite]

Thank you, Doctor. You're so very helpful.

An old friend of mine used to say:

"If alcohol is a crutch, then Jack Daniels is a wheelchair."

I just wonder if Cap'n Morgan and Coke is a walker. If so.. then I'm set.


PS:


Back to the Haikus!
Or Usul will lock this thread for being irrelevant.

[Dranul]

An Ode to Lich:

First there was Dark Pact
Lizard regen kept me safe
Was love at first med

Allure of Death next
Oh, I laughed at enchanters
Untill they cast Breeze

What a treat, indeed!
Call of Bones, I could cackle!
A girlish giggle?

A friend of mine said,
"At 46, KEI"
"Pfft, wait two levels"

"Look at the mana!"
"Spoken like a true necro
"Lose hp, who cares?"

Finally, true Lich!
"It's better than KEI!"
I cried with great joy

"Where are you, Demi?"
"Here's a free copy of it."
Stunned silence was mine

Spectre lich? Woohoo!
Chase newbies in Oasis
Fear the named spectre

Oh, Saryrn, Saryrn,
Please take my soul! I'll be yours!
Promises return

Give up just my soul?
To Dark Possession, I give
my body and soul

((Not my best work, but /shrug.))

[Xislaben]

so many strings of
the sesquipedalians
and so few do rhyme



--------
my favorite word btw.

[Dranul]

Originally posted by Xislaben@Oct 21 2005, 09:18 PM
my favorite word btw.
I won't be ashamed saying I had to look it up. And that word is funny as hell.

[Warspite]

Yet only 6 syllables. Tsk tsk!

[Schaeffer]

The musical snob
megalomaniacal
I want my ring back

[Warspite]

What is wrong with the
Partridge family?
I sold it for cigs.

[Creationis Crucifixion]

Oh hey Jebasiz
Do you know I hate you much
Please just die and such

[Jebasiz]

damn, liched to death
out of Essence Emeralds
where's a cleric
----------------------------------


alive your a foe.
chasing summoning hitting,
your corpse is my bitch

----------------------------------

kiting all day long
watching experience bar
pinged again, yay?

----------------------------------

union on strike now
hurricane wilma coming
work sucks, no everquest

----------------------------------


pathetic bastards
sad wannabe necromancers
aclylosprada

-------------------------------------

high playtime, no skill
guild has carried you for years
says berthall dot com

-------------------------------------

A warmer body please.
This one is pathetically dumb
less posts, I'm numb.

------------------------------------

how many people leave
can't shut my fucking mouth
verbal diahrea

--------------------------------

nothing constructive
not a thought in your big head
spew your shit elsewhere

-------------------------------------

if you can't tell
your stupid, go fuck yourself
Aclylosprada



http://www.berthall.com/forums/showthread.php?threadid=13548


*
Aclylosprada - Boggrog was leader of Malus Imperium when you were recruited I believe, if not he was the class officer for the warriors, regardless the ONLY reason you were recruited was because of high playtime, not skill, not ability, nothing but high playtime. You are a fucking moron if you think otherwise, your attitude and obviously supremely original form of ignorance is apparent in every post you have ever made, up to and including the ones made in this thread. I bite my tongue in game out of respect for the few people in MI that I consider friends, however the shit that comes out of your head as ideas are the subject of great amusement in several unnamed circles.


(from a former member of "bob's" guild, and it's been supported!)
not a haiku I know..but that's where they came from!

TA!

[Mallakith]

I need my ganja
marijuana is your friend
where are my rizlas

good old john marston
a great victorian bloke
he brought us marstons

(wow wonder if anyone remembers that last one bar me!)

[Warspite]

Any chance I could convince a mod to move the CC vs Jeb portion into another thread so they can duke it out without the handicap of Haiku form?

EDIT (Schaeffer): Your wish is my command


ps to Malla.. Googling John Marston now!


pps: Well.. looks like it involves ALE! A favorite topic of mine! I'll take a pint of everything!

[Rijak]

Originally posted by Warspite@Oct 24 2005, 12:02 PM
Any chance I could convince a mod to move the CC vs Jeb portion into another thread so they can duke it out without the handicap of Haiku form?
but haiku flaming is so my much more cultured :P

[Warspite]

Very true Rijak... very true.

[Jebasiz]

sorry, I shit on your thread. I really only intended to shit on acly. Why I don't know, and I'll stop. The guy is a waste of my time.

[Warspite]

No worries, Jeb. Shit happens. Just defending what little integrity this thread ever might have had.

[Schaeffer]

Depths of Darkhollow
Oh how you will get nerfed.
Smedley wants the bat!

[BlackHeart]

Just to poke fun at all of us regarding posts in another thread...

Use Cloak of Shadows
Oh No! That mob sees invis!
Wish I had clickie

[Dranul]

Eternal darkness...
Deepist pits of hell and death...
Emo necro, *sob*

[Warspite]

It seems that all the entries are in. I see no reason I shouldn't proclaim the winners of the Necro-Haiku contest.
After seeing some of the entries that came in, I decided that I would keep separate categories for Serious Haikus and Humorous Haikus. Sometimes it was hard to decide which category a poem fit, though.

Anyway.. on to the awards...




Serious Haiku Category:


First Place-

Xislaben wins the title of Necro-Haiku Emperor with his poem:

Throughout all Norath
death is held in abeyance
by necromancers


Second Place-

Quezquotyl wins the title of Necro-Haiku Shogun with his poem:

They shout for camp check,
I do not answer their call,
Aggro makes this hard.


Third Place-

Dranul wins the title of Necro-Haiku Samurai with his poem:

Floating fart? No thanks
Kitty, scaled wolf, furry wolf?
Boner is my pet


Special Mention-

Schaeffer wins the title of Necro-Haiku Kamikaze Pilot with his poem:

Group dies, cleric too
group cleric /tells you "please rezz?"
/r When I'm done kiting



Humorous Haiku Category:


First Place-

Mallakith wins the title of Necro-Haiku Emperor with his poem:

come let me hit you
dirty necro always runs
now how do i warp?


Second Place-

Deanette wins the title of Necro-Haiku Shogun-ette with her poem:

Female Necro seeks a
willing male to die for her
Level Forty Six and Up


Third Place-

Doc Hollidazed wins the title of Necro-Haiku Samurai with his poem:

"Haha, I feigned death."
`You have fallen to the ground`
`Loading, please wait`..."Fuck!"



The Warspite Award for Epicness 2005 is awarded to Dranul for his Epic Haiku:


An Ode to Lich:

First there was Dark Pact
Lizard regen kept me safe
Was love at first med

Allure of Death next
Oh, I laughed at enchanters
Untill they cast Breeze

What a treat, indeed!
Call of Bones, I could cackle!
A girlish giggle?

A friend of mine said,
"At 46, KEI"
"Pfft, wait two levels"

"Look at the mana!"
"Spoken like a true necro
"Lose hp, who cares?"

Finally, true Lich!
"It's better than KEI!"
I cried with great joy

"Where are you, Demi?"
"Here's a free copy of it."
Stunned silence was mine

Spectre lich? Woohoo!
Chase newbies in Oasis
Fear the named spectre

Oh, Saryrn, Saryrn,
Please take my soul! I'll be yours!
Promises return

Give up just my soul?
To Dark Possession, I give
my body and soul

[Drazzminius]

Everyone had fun
Necromancers Wrote Haikus
Congratulations!

;)

[Schaeffer]

Honorable Scribe
Kamikaze Pilot Rank
Thanks little people

[Dranul]

So I won in the category that had only one entry? Feels like the pity prize; pity for having too much time.

[Warspite]

Pity not Dranul
Warspite's epic poem prize
Is the Grandest Prize of all


Dipstick. :)

[Warspite]

Hey, all y'all, Doc Hollidazed needs a hearing aid
Pours his vodka so loud he wakes up the maid
His junk is so numb he can't tell if he's laid
Is it the booze, or cuz his bozack is flayed?


Love ya, Doc.. you bring out the worst in me!

[Zeller TP]

Blackheart cannot stop
Never ending quest (http://eqforums.station.sony.com/eq/board/message?board.id=Veterans&message.id=133980#M133980) alive
Only not here now

[Suicide]

Crimson nightmares come,
I play in your blood,
Awake gripped by fear.

^+^ ^+^ ^+^ ^+^ ^+^ ^+^

Poison candy apple,
Choke and gag and die
Happy Halloween

[Dranul]

Originally posted by Warspite@Oct 27 2005, 04:31 PM
Pity not Dranul
Warspite's epic poem prize
Is the Grandest Prize of all


Dipstick. :)
lol, I'm...dreaming and floating right now, don't mind me.

[Suicide]

Ah... I suck at life. My second haiku is incorrect....


Im going to go take a bath with my toaster..... - sigh -

[lesk]

Does that make your username foreshadowing or does the fact that you chose that username suggest perhaps it was a self-fulfilling prophecy or something?

... too much free time today.

[Felicite]

Originally posted by lesk@Oct 27 2005, 11:35 AM
Does that make your username foreshadowing or does the fact that you chose that username suggest perhaps it was a self-fulfilling prophecy or something?

... too much free time today.
"Everybody's thinking, I'm just saying it."

I was thinking that it seemed very in character..

[Rijak]

Originally posted by Warspite@Oct 27 2005, 11:31 AM
Pity not Dranul
Warspite's epic poem prize
Is the Grandest Prize of all
didn't dranul win the last one too... hmmm <_<

[Warspite]

I was wondering that myself. But, the boy has talent... you can't deny that.

[Dranul]

Originally posted by Rijak+Oct 27 2005, 07:40 PM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (Rijak @ Oct 27 2005, 07:40 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin-Warspite@Oct 27 2005, 11:31 AM
Pity not Dranul
Warspite's epic poem prize
Is the Grandest Prize of all
didn't dranul win the last one too... hmmm <_< [/b][/quote]
Law of averages. You send in one thousand entries, you're bound to win.

Talent has got nothing to do with it.

[Nadab]

Necro Morse Code

dot dot dot dot dot
Snare breaks, FD fails, zone!, zone!
dash dash dash dash dash


-Abihu
65 necro, Prexus

[Mallakith]

Omg I got a prize...

And to answer my last

Marston's is a brewer in Burton-Upon-Trent (the worlds centre of brewing with such luminaries as Bass and more recently Coors).

the Haiku was actually the lines to the first verse of a song advertising Marston's Pedigree Bitter in England around 10 years ago which i remembered and found funny that they fit into a haiku

[Rijak]

Originally posted by Mallakith@Oct 31 2005, 05:48 AM
(the worlds centre of brewing with such luminaries as Bass and more recently Coors).
Bass Ale!!!

love you brits B)